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Social Anxiety Therapy That Helps You Feel Safe, Seen, and Steady

  • Writer: Michael Elwan
    Michael Elwan
  • Dec 31, 2025
  • 3 min read
Award-winning social worker, national advisor, and PhD researcher Michael Elwan explains social anxiety therapy; how it works, what to expect, and how it helps people feel safe and confident again

Social anxiety therapy begins with understanding what your nervous system is protecting you from


Social anxiety therapy works best when we slow the story down and listen to the body. Social anxiety is not shyness or a lack of confidence. It is a learned survival response. Somewhere along the line, your nervous system decided that social situations carried risk; judgement, rejection, embarrassment, or loss of belonging. The response makes sense. It kept you safe once. The trouble begins when that protection lingers long after the danger has passed.


People living with social anxiety often describe racing thoughts before conversations, tension in the chest or throat, blushing, sweating, or a strong urge to escape. Afterward comes replay; every word analysed, every pause judged. Social anxiety therapy does not argue with these experiences. It works with them.


How social anxiety therapy actually helps

Effective social anxiety therapy focuses on three linked areas:


First, understanding how anxiety operates in the nervous system. When the brain reads threat, it shifts into protection mode. That is biology, not weakness.


Second, gently changing the relationship with thoughts. Therapy helps you notice anxious predictions without treating them as facts.


Third, rebuilding safety through lived experience. This means small, deliberate exposures that are paced and humane, not forced.


Common patterns social anxiety therapy addresses

Many clients arrive carrying long-standing patterns. Avoidance that slowly shrinks life. People-pleasing that trades authenticity for acceptance. Perfectionism that keeps the bar impossibly high. Social anxiety therapy names these patterns with care. They developed for a reason. Therapy helps you decide which ones still serve you and which are ready to loosen.

For some, social anxiety therapy also involves unpacking earlier experiences; bullying, migration, cultural shame, or moments of public humiliation. These experiences live in the body, not just memory. Therapy honours that reality.


What sessions usually look like

In social anxiety therapy sessions, we move at a pace your system can tolerate. Early sessions often focus on stabilising skills; grounding, breath work, and understanding triggers. As safety builds, therapy may include role plays, imagery, or real-world practice between sessions. Reflection follows, not judgement.


Importantly, social anxiety therapy is collaborative. You are not pushed into situations that overwhelm you. Progress comes from repetition with kindness, not pressure.


When to consider social anxiety therapy

If social situations regularly drain your energy, limit your work or relationships, or leave you feeling ashamed afterward, social anxiety therapy can help. Many people seek support after years of coping alone. Therapy offers a different path; one where connection becomes possible again, even if anxiety still whispers in the background.


Social anxiety therapy is about connection, not performance

The goal of social anxiety therapy is not to become the loudest voice in the room. It is to feel at home in yourself while being seen by others. To speak without rehearsing every sentence. To attend events without scanning for exits. To belong without disappearing.


Change here is often quiet and profound. A longer pause before cancelling plans. A moment of eye contact that feels steady. A conversation where you stay present, even with nerves.


Based in Perth, WA, LEXs provides telehealth counselling across Australia for individuals, couples, and NDIS participants. Services extend to Social Work supervision, Peer Work supervision, training, and keynote speaking on men’s mental health, CaLD community wellbeing, and culturally responsive suicide prevention; helping people and organisations make mental-health care more compassionate, inclusive, and effective. LEXs provides services across Australia, supporting clients in Perth, Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, and beyond. To learn more about our work across Australia, visit LEXs' services page.

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